Who's Killing Bert and Ernie?
Cast * Gonzo - Bert (Sesame Street: Bert & Ernie's Great Adventures) * Fozzie Bear - Ernie (Sesame Street: Bert & Ernie's Great Adventures) * Kermit the Frog - Himself * Miss Piggy - Herself * Scooter - Himself * Hooded Killer - Himself * Dr. Bunsen Honeydew - Himself * Beaker - Himself * Rowlf the Dog - Himself * Dr. Teeth - Himself * Lew Zealand - Himself * Swedish Chef - Himself * Animal - Himself * Steve Martin - Himself * Camilla the Chicken - Herself * Statler - Himself * Waldorf - Himself * Penguins - Themselves * Skeeter - Herself Transcript * Bert: For my next feat, I will walk across hot coals while explaining what the hell I am. * Hooded Killer: No! For your next feat, you die! (Hooded Killer fires a cannon, decapitating Bert, and Bert's corpse falls on the hot coals. Then Hooded Killer places a water sack on the scene) Bert's Funeral and Burial Ceremony * Kermit: Bert died as he lived, and our family will never be whole again. And now, ladies and gentlemen, MR. STEVE MARTIN, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!! * Steve Martin: (With a prank arrow hat on his head) "The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want. He makes me like.." * Miss Piggy (interrupting): Oh, are we burying him in a sybian? (Camilla clucks and jumps on Bert's casket as it gets lowered into the ground) * Ernie: You know, the last time a muppet died was... * Steve Martin (interrupting): Excuse me? * Ernie: Don’t you mean, "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me"? * Steve Martin: No, this is a funeral. I’m working. Do I come to where you work and knock things out of your mouth?! * Kermit: Wow, Martin's working blue, but he’s right. We vowed never to talk about...that night. (The gang turn to look at Scooter) (Scooter waves at them) Later * Ernie: And then the dad says, "The Aristocrats"! Wocka-wocka! * Hooded Killer: (Right up at the door) Hey, Ernie? Why did the orange muppet turn red? * Ernie: I don’t know, stranger. * Hooded Killer: Because he was em-bar-rassed! * Ernie: '''(Sarcastically claps) Wocka-wocka... * '''Hooded Killer: Then how about this? Because I totally STABBED YOU! (Hooded Killer stabs Ernie in the neck and then the back with a knife) * Ernie: What a showstopper. Ooohh! (Falls on stage) * Stalter: See? I told you the orange muppet was gonna die on stage tonight. (Stalter and Waldorf laugh) * Ernie: Hey, guys, can you stop laughing and call me an ambulance? * Waldorf: You're an ambulance. (Stalter and Waldorf laugh again, and Ernie is dragged offscreen by Hooded Killer and murdered. Then a red wagon is rolled out on stage) * Kermit: (Penguins roll Ernie's dead body away) First Bert, now Ernie. Could we be paying the price for what we did to...? * Miss Piggy: Don’t say that name, Kermie. * Kermit: OOOH, Miss Piggy's telling me what to do. Wow, hey, everybody! Come here! You gotta come see this. Miss Piggy's telling me what to do! Wow, must be a day that ends in Y! (Scooter walks by carrying a boxful of props) Hey, uh, Scooter? * Scooter: Oh! Hey there, boss. * Kermit: We need to talk about Skeeter's death. * Scooter: Why, sure. I love talking about my twin sister, if not for that tragic accident... * Kermit: You know, I’m gonna stop you right there. I got something I gotta tell you. Muppet Babies Flashback * Baby Kermit: Let’s play The Little Mermaid! * Baby Ernie: Let’s question Kermit's sensability. Wocka-wocka! * Baby Scooter: Hold on! Let me grab my floaties. (Leaves) * Baby Skeeter: What a nerd. * Baby Miss Piggy: Ahem. Moi will play "La Petite Mermaid". * Baby Skeeter: Mermaids aren't fat! (Pushes Baby Miss Piggy) * Baby Kermit: Yikes! Skeeter, if you only take my advice once in your natural life, take it now. Walk away. (Skeeter smacks Kermit) * Baby Ernie: NANNY! SKEETER'S HITTING US AGAIN! * Baby Kermit: Yeah, who's the homo now? (Skeeter beats up Ernie, and Skeeter gets hit in the back by Kermit with a red wagon and knocked headfirst into the pool) If we do this thing, it’s our secret forever. (All Muppet Babies agree and drown Skeeter in the pool) * All Muppet Babies: NANNY! (Present) * Scooter: You killed my sister?!? * Kermit: Yeah, well, It was 60% self-defense. But we're kind of burying the lead here. We think Skeeter's come back from the grave for revenge! * Scooter: Oh, Skeeter will have her ''revenge… (Scooter reveals himself to be Skeeter, the Killer, in disguise) * '''Kermit and Miss Piggy: '''AAAAHHH!!! * '''Skeeter:' (Takes out knife, and attacks Kermit) Fifteen seconds till your death! * Miss Piggy: HIIII-YAH! (Jumps to kick her, but misses) Wuh! * Skeeter: Here it comes! Showtime! (Camilla clucks, holding a bow and arrow. Subtitle: "Get away from her, you bitch!") * Skeeter: You can’t shoot me! Chickens don’t even have fingers! (Camilla fires an arrow, which runs through Skeeter's head) OOHH!! (Falls to the floor with Steve Martin behind her) * Steve Martin (chuckling): That bit never gets old. (Dances as funny music starts) Gallery Bertclay.jpg|Bert as Gonzo Ernieclay.jpg|Ernie as Fozzie Bear Kermit Muppets Most Wanted.png|Kermit the Frog as Himself Miss piggy the muppets.png|Miss Piggy as Herself Scooter (Muppets).jpg|Scooter as Himself Drbunsen.jpg|Dr. Bunsen Honeydew as Himself Beaker in The Muppets 2015 TV Series.jpg|Beaker as Himself Rowlf-2011.jpg|Rowlf the Dog as Himself Dr Teeth pink.jpg|Dr. Teeth as Himself Swedish-chef.jpg|Swedish Chef as Himself Animal muppet 13.jpg|Animal as Himself Camilla.jpg|Camilla the Chicken as Herself Skeeter.jpg|Skeeter as Herself Category:Who's Killing the Muppets? parodies Category:Who's Killing the Muppets? Category:Robot Chicken Parodies Category:Robot Chicken